Celebrate we will

i haven't done the lj thing in forever. i kind of miss it.

i got a real job! like, with benefits and everything! it means i'm moving to jackson but that's ok i guess.

that's all i got right now.

my heart hurts

i'm at weir, at 3:30 in the morning, they have started vacuuming, there are only like 2 other people in here, i will get zero sleep tonight, i'm trying to get back on track with this whole school thing, it's never too late!!

that is all.

One of my biggest fears is looking out the peephole of my door. For some reason I think someone is going to jump out and scare me or kill me or something horrible.

that is all.

ok, you people need to post more and more quickly b/c i need more procrastination!


why don't papers write themselves? they really should.

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!
Step 6: World domination!

X1. Coming out of my cage and I'm doing just fine. I gotta, gotta be down cause I want it all.
X2. Oh look at how she listens, she says nothing of what she thinks, she just goes stumbling through her memories, staring out onto Grey Street.
3. Now I've been happy lately, thinking about the good things to come. And I believe it could be, something good has begun
4. I hear more than I like to, so I boil my head in a sense of humor.
5. Hey, you've got a lot of nerve to show your face around here.
6. I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles and the heavens open every time she smiles
7. Friday night I'm going nowhere, all the lights are changing green to red
8. Steve walks warily down the street, With the brim pulled way down low
X9. My friend assures me it’s all or nothing, I am not worried- I am not overly concerned
10. Did you see the sky, I think it means that we’ve been lost
11. I fade from the light, Your glory was lost that night
12. Damn baby all I need is a lil' bit, A lil bit o' dis a lil bit o' dat
(classical music so i'm skipping it)
X13. Istanbul was Constaninople, now it's Istanbul not Constantinole
X14. Where are you going with your long face pulling down, don’t hide away
15. Speed kills coming down the mountain
X16.breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out breathe in
(another instrumental)
17. She has all the tattoos and the piercings, hates everything, says everybody's wrong
X18. Oh no, I see, a spider web is tangled up with me
19. Listen to the music, Tom johnston, Don’t you feel it growin’, day by day
X20. No more talk of darkness,Forget these wide-eyed fears

yeah, so my iTunes wasn't really being all that fun tonight... maybe it's tired... i know i am... goodnight

p.s. i don't know how to cross things out...

no human being should be awake right now...

going to fail everything. working on so no sleep. whoo. haven't started studying for lobur midterm. still writing ajootian midterm. it's crap.i'm saying all of this in my head in a sing-song voice...

so, it's been awhile. i've been busy/lazy so i've been away. it snowed. that was a lot of fun. we had a snowball fight at 2 am and it was the most fun i've had in a long, long time. so, i like a guy who's in korea. not good. i met him when he was on leave from teh air forceand in oxford with some friends. he wanted to meet me. that's what got me, he saw me and wanted to talk to me. that neevr happens. but yeah, he got me with all those cliche lines like, "you're beautiful" and "i love your eyes" and stuff like that and i was sitting there the whole time going, "he's just saying this stuff to see where it gets him. none of this stuff is true. he's feeding me lines" but i still lapped it up. why do i do that? so we spent the weekend hanging out and talking a lot and stuff and then he went back to korea. i'll probably never see him again. but i still have a crush. and it's hopeless. but there it is.

i went to court today. i had a ticket and now i get to go to driving school tomorrow from 6-10. i'm pumped!

i had an anti-date tonight for valentines. it was kinda depressing. i mean, it was supposed to be fun but it ended up we just felt kinda down. but i had 2 guys wish be happy valentine's. andy (air force boy) and nic (old boyfriend). yeah... not a great valentine's day. but oh well. i should have been studying tonight but i didn't.

that is all.

p.s. i want to be the girl in my icon.

i have decided that i like william butler yeats. after reading just a few poems. i love my irish lit class! whooooo!

other than that, life is confusing... as always!

i love you all!

that is all.

so i realized that i don't write in this very much anymore. i read it but i don't write... i guess that has something to do with me having nothing going on in my life. that's right... surprise! allison is up to nothing. i think i'm stuck in a rut, my life is going nowhere and i don't know what to do about it.

here's something: i always thought that i was a naturally happy person. well, recently i've been wondering if my happiness isn't forced. i do have this urge/inclination to make those around me smile, but is that really me acting like i feel? i think maybe i'm secretly mildly depressed... if that makes sense. when i go certain places and hang around certain people, i have discovered recently, that they make me sad. not really sad in the sense of boo hoo but like... heavy. like you have to trudge through life when they're around. i kinda try to stay away from ken's house b/c i get that feeling around there. i think it might have something to do with the memories and the people and the fact that nothing will be like it was keeps getting thrown in my face. and it kinda hurts. <i>I</i> thought steven and i had something that could have been something, but apparently not. but i can't seem to get over it. i think i am not then i talk to him or see him and i get so frustrated and/or depressed. damn him! he's an asshole and why can't i just stop liking him? whatever... he's not worth my time.

i've been working everyday, all day and it's getting old. i'm sick and work doesn't help. b/c, you know, hanging upside down checking book prices is so conducive to a severe cold. and sydney has been gone all week so that basically left me and mrs donna alone in book land and that just doesn't work so well. i'm not supposed to be working tomorrow but i'm going in b/c we have to be ready for winter intersession on monday and that's not gonna happen with out some overtime. grrr. oh well.

i think i've found a new favorite song... well and new/old favorite song b/c it's Dave and i love all Dave. but it's "Oh" from the Some Devil album. yup. ( Oh Lyrics )

so, i need some new friends! :) not ones to replace anyone, but ones to get me out of my rut. some spice and such.

that is all.

so, i just watched one of my favorite movies of ALL TIME! Naughty Marietta with Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy. if any one is a fan of old movies, watch this one! actually, this was the first time that i cried watching it. and then i was looking at amazon trying to find my own copy and a brand new VHS of Naughty Marietta is $74.95! OMG! the cheapest one, a used one that used to be a library tape, is $24. grr! i want this movie soooo badly. and it's not on dvd. i must have it! someday... someone should get it for me for christmas :)

i was going to fry chicken tonight for ken but he had to go home suddenly. now i'm in the mood to cook but no one to cook for until he comes back. oh well, i made cookies for me!

that is all.

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education


Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

( quiz thing )

 

watching romantic comedies by yourself is a horrible idea. especially on a saturday night when no one's in town, and the people you would call are either asleep or drunk. or the person you really want to be with at ahte moment you're scared to call... gah! i hate being me sometimes. i need to grow some balls and just be like, What the HELL is going on?! Please tell me b/c i could be something really good for you, i can make you happy, i can make you smile. yeah, that was sickening in it's patheticness... i'm going to clean the house now b/c i can't sleep with stuff on my mind. i hate you, steven.

that is all.

oh and p.s.
it's gotten so bad that i smoked a cigarette. i don't smoke! and i want another one... BAD!

so, i dropped latin. whoo? i mean, i was most def on the road to failing it. i hadn't made a passing grade yet. so it has been dropped.

the thing w/ steve has been kinda sorta worked out. not really though. i'm still really confused and i don't know what to think about it all. ken's not helping b/c he just says he doesn't know either. i mean, geez! you live with the dude! get info! i get it for you! gah!

anyways, ken has become a really good buddy and we're trying to set him up w/ katherine. i dunno though. apparently ken and taylor had a spat over who ken liked more, me or her. hehe. ken said i was more fun! take that taylor!! KIDDING! but yeah, i'm glad he's a friend and maybe he and katherine will end up having lots of babies somewhere down the line. umm...

no class until 1:00 whooooo!

that is all.

woke up this morning and the air in the apt was actually on BELOW 65 degrees. GEEZ! can we say icicles? yeah...